2008-06-07
6/7/08
We didn't go camping. Why? Rain yesterday. Rain today. Rain tomorrow. Torrential rain.
There's always next weekend.
Yesterday we delivered the teachers' final paychecks. Then we did a little of this and a little of that.
I worked 4 hours and called it a day. I was tired and truly just sick of being there.
I came home with intentions of getting a jump start in my weekend cleaning. But once again, that evil couch called my name. Three hours later, Bill came home and asked what we were having for dinner. Now that's what I call a good nap.
I've been working really hard in my therapy. Things are coming to the surface that I'd kept buried for years. It's hard and more often than not, heartbreaking. As I told my friend Della, the road to sanity...SUCKS. While I know in my head that Jeffrey is gone, I still often expect to see him. I still catch myself picking up my phone to call him. It's been 2 years, 3 months and 6 days. Acceptance is still not within my grasp.
But I know I've come a long way on this journey. I'm reminded of when Jeff came back home after living in AZ for a year the first time. He'd gotten deeply into debt. He lived with us, worked hard to pay off his debt AND went to MSU. One day, he came home and flopped down next to me on the couch. I asked him how it was going. He smiled that smile I loved so much.
And said "I can't see the light yet, but I'm definitely in the tunnel."