2009-04-03
4/3/09
The eyes see what the brain tells them to see.
Until about 18 months ago, I struggled with my weight. Big UP. Little down.
I can remember being aware that I was fat as early as age 7 or 8. It didn't help that my Grama (who raised me) was a fat-o-phobic. She put me on a diet when I was in Jr. High.
Diets rarely worked for me. Diet pills didn't work either. I never ate because I was physically hungry. I ate because I felt happy when I ate.
Due to changes in my diet (to help with anxiety and stomachaches) and side effects from two prescriptions, my weight has finally settled. I now weigh 130-135 lbs and wear a size 4-6.
However, there are days when my brain refuses to accept this.
Yesterday I felt HUGE all day. I was uncomfortable in my clothes. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat cow.
I tried to ignore it. I tried to make myself think logically. "It's physically impossible to look like a fat cow in size 4 pants."
It didn't work. I never did "get" it.
Lesson learned. The next time this happens (and it will) I will simply change my clothes before work. I can't force my brain to accept what it won't see.
I learned another lesson too.
Don't tell your dieting friend that you feel like a fat cow in your size 4 pants.
She'll take you out behind the playground and beat the crap out of you. ;o)