2009-09-06
9/6/09
Ok boys and girls...it's time for more Notes That I Will Not Send.
Dear Lady I Offended at the Grocery Store,
I realize there are dozens of flavors of yogurt. I realize it can get confusing trying to decide which flavor you want. I also realize the fact that they were on sale could have added to your excitement/confusion.
In my defence, I just got back from camping. I was tired and dirty. All I wanted to do was get my groceries and go home to take a shower. I did wait quietly and patiently for almost a minute while you stood in front of the ENTIRE yogurt disply. Then I said "excuse me" TWICE.
Before I said (rather loudly) "For the love of Pete, lady! It's just yogurt! The answer to world peace is not hidden in the labels!"
I'm just saying....
Dear Fellow Camper,
Thank you for coming to tell us that Idgie had escaped the camper. I appreciated that you wanted to help me find her.
I did however find it very distracting that you insisted on telling me about EVERY pet you've ever owned in your 70+ years. I was raised to wait patiently to speak while someone else is speaking. Especially if that someone is my elder.
So, the reason it took me so long to find Idgie was because I was unable to call her while you were chatting away.
The next time we meet, I'll invite you over to our campsite and we'll visit for hours.
But if Idgie gets out while you're there, you're just going to have to sit tight and keep your mouth shut while I hunt for her.
I'm just saying....
Dear Camping Canopy,
Shame on you for blowing away during the sudden windstorm yesterday. You may have noticed that nobody else's canopy blew away.
I'm sure you thought it was funny to fill up with wind and blow just out of reach, as soon as we got ALMOST close enough to grab you.
Ok, I admit it, I thought it was funny too. Bill however was not amused.
You got both of us in trouble. At least Bill didn't throw me in the dumpster, like he did you.
I'm just saying...
Dear Friend,
Thank you for calling to invite us to play Bunco tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.
I am aware how challenging it must be to have stayed friends with us these past 3 years. We often just don't have it in us to be social anymore.
But, you continue to invite us. Even when we refuse time after time.
I appreciate it and I appreciate your friendship.
I'm just saying...
(Ok, I'll probably send the last one.)