2009-09-09
9/9/09
I once had a friend ask me "Has it ever occurred to you to listen to your body BEFORE you make yourself sick?"
I'm a go, go, goer. Even when I'm not going and I look like I'm relaxing, my mind is still running 100mph.
Eventually, my body rebels and I get sick.
I could feel it coming. My stress level has been growing. Monday, it topped out and ran over. Yesterday was a repeat. At first I tried to convince myself that I'd caught a stomach virus. But I knew. Once again, I'd let my stress get to the point that I was literally making myself sick.
I thought I was helping myself relax by going camping. And I did relax. But what I also did was avoid things that needed to be done...causing myself more stress. (I'm a clever one, aren't I?)
This morning when I woke up, I didn't feel so good. I wake up most days with anxiety, but usually as the morning progresses, I get a handle on it.
Not today. I tend to stress when I have unanswered questions. This morning I couldn't get past the all the undecided issues we have going on.
I did what I do best. I made a list.
A list of the things that are stressing me out. Then I chose the things on the list that I could do something about. Then, I scheduled the afternoon off from work.
I made several phone calls that needed to be made. I hate confrontations. I can make myself physically sick worrying about it. But, I needed to make the calls and take care of these issues.
I hated every second of it. But now they're done and I don't have to worry about them anymore.
I spoke with Bill about other things that were stressing me. I tend to not share these things because I don't want to stress him. (Because then I worry about my stress and his stress. It's a vicious circle.) He was great. He listened. He offered reasonable solutions. Pretty much, he helped me see that although some of my worries are HUGE, a lot of the others are little. He gave me perspective, which is one thing I was really lacking.
After making the phone calls and talking things over with Bill, I rewarded myself. I went to get my hair trimmed. Now my hair is all nice and short again. And I still have the rest of the afternoon to just hang out.
There are a few more items on my list of things to do, to lower my stress level. The worst items are over, so I should breeze through the rest.
Hopefully next time I'll listen to what my body is telling me before I get sick.